You were raised in Suffolk County If...
You get proofed … not carded.
You had a sheriff's card.
You can tell the guys or girls on the other
side of the bar are from Queens .
You know that 110 separates Nassau and
You don't brush the sand off your feet
before you get in the car.
Someone says "Let's go to the shore" you
don't know what the hell they're talking about.
You and your friends go to the beach, but
the word beach never comes up in the conversation.
Instead, it sounds something like this...
"Well, we could go to Jones, but Robert Moses is closer,
the North Shore is too rocky...
whatever lets go to the Hamptons."
And when you do say the beach, it means Fire Island.
Doing 90 over the Robert Moses Bridge or on
Ocean Parkway is perfectly fine.
Someone says "The Forks" they don't mean
When you hear "the end", you think Montauk. Orient Point never crosses your mind.
At some point in your life you've gone
You've used a clam shell for an ash tray.
You can tell the difference between a
Fluke and a Flounder.
You close your eyes … you can still smell
You know what low tide smells like.
You have seen an Osprey in action
You know which beaches allow surfing.
You've partied in the woods or camped on the
beach at least once in
When you say that you are going to "the
outlets", Tanger is implied.
You tried to "Save the Oak Beach Inn".
You know which
way the winds blowing by looking at the seagulls.
You've had a seagull crap on your car.
Flip-flops are normal, even in January.
You know where the
Commack Motor Inn is.
You know where MacArthur Airport is.
You know the difference between a "Parkway"
and an "Expressway".
You've driven the stretch of Ocean Parkway
in the winter without passing another car.
You walked across the bay when it was frozen.
And you know that all scooters don't Have wheels.
You know where "The Big Duck" is.
You've refused to use the bathroom on the
LIRR because it was the right thing to do.
You shopped at A&P or Bohack's.
You ate at Flo's in Blue Point.
In the summer, we all waited for the Good
Humor or Bungalow Bar Truck
to come to your street, to buy ice cream.
You still scream in the tunnel going from
the parking lot to Smith Point Beach .
You enjoyed summer Monday night Cherry
Avenue School Dances.
WALK and WBAB were your only source of
French Fries from the concession stand at
the beach was considered health food.
You have more Pro sports to root for than
anywhere else in the country
(Jets, Giants, Mets, Yankees, Knicks, Nets, Rangers, Islanders)
You watched the stock car races at Islip Speedway.
You have seen a Sunrise and Sunset at the Beach.
You know it's not good when someone says
"full moon" and "Nor' Easter" in the same sentence.
You know your not suppose to climb on the
jetty but you still do.
You're from one of 3 places: North Shore,
South Shore , or East End.
You've cursed out the Jack n' a Box drive
thru clown at 3:00 am on a Tuesday.
You remember the sky diving at Eastport.
You store stuff in empty bottles.
You know that Merrick Rd. and Montauk Hwy
are the same road.
The Hampton Bays Diner saved you from wetting your pants on many occasions.
You can't understand why a diner would ever close.
You remember the "Bar Car" on the LIRR.
You know what to do with a Lacrosse stick.
You don't associate Fire Island with gay
You know Miss Fire Island ain't a Miss!
Wandering around Davis Park, Fire Island
trashed is an acceptable plan for any night.
You can't say "Hot Dog Beach" without
giggling from the memories.
You remember going into … but not coming out
of a drive in theater.
Hawaiian Tropic replaced Coppertone as your
You played Putt-Putt.
You know that there is a big difference
between any of the other Hamptons , and Hampton Bays.
You remember Bob Morgan doing a Broadway
Show tune at his White Cap Bar in Westhampton. Beach.
You don't really see the big deal about the
Hamptons , unless you got smashed at the Boardy Barn.
You stumped the Super Suds with an unknown
oldie at the Boardy Barn on Sunday night,
and showed the original 45 as proof!
You saw the Rascals at the Barge before they
But the best band in the Hamptons were the
Vagrants (Leslie West and Mountain) at the Castaways.
You leave your money on the bar.
You spent part of your summer dancing in a basement called the Cave.
You could name the bartenders and bouncers
The Gold Coast II, Tavern on the Lake, Oliver Twist Inn, Tiana Beach Club (Castaways),
The Eye, Drift Inn, Mad Hatter, Ed's Bay Pub, , etc …
As much as you try not to … you still curse
… a lot.
You actually get these jokes
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