Dear South Skunky Home Owner:

This letter is being sent to you since we know you are
critically interested in your front lawn and the spring
season will soon be on us.  This is a fertilizer club
and it will not cost you a cent to join. Upon receipt of
this letter go to the address at the top of the list and shit
on the front lawn.   You will not be the only one there, so
don't feel embarrassed.

Then make five (5) copies of this letter and send it to five (5)
of your friends who appreciate good lawns.  You will not get
any cash or checks, but within one week, if this chain is not
broken, there will 9,126 people shitting on your front lawn.
Your reward will come this summer when you have the
greenest front lawn in your neighborhood.

Mr. Hugh Janus
14 Poopie Park

Mrs. Lucy Bowels
20 Bed Pan Cover

Mr. and Mrs. Charles Syringe
2 Suppository Drive

Mrs. Pyle O. Crap
1422 Enema Street

Mrs. and Mrs. Tooka Frizzick
343 Running Loose Road

Mrs. and Mrs. Smelly B. Hind
476 Diarrhea Way

Mrs. and Mrs. C. Howie Farts
89 Rectum Road

Mrs. and Mrs. A. Bigger Movement
276 Fertilizer Way

PS--If you are constipated, pass this along to your neighbor.
Do NOT break this chain.  One man didn't give a shit and
lost his entire front lawn.