The Devil and Dr. LaBeaver
Dr. LaBeaver, stuperintendent of South Skunky Schools, died and
because of his lifelong inability to tell the truth found himself in hell.
(This came as no big surprise for those who had worked for him.)
The devil informed him that he would spend eternity
in one of three rooms, each of which he
could preview and then choose his favorite.
Satan opens a door and LaBeaver sees a vast
plain of concrete covered in glass shards, with untold
millions of souls moaning in agony as they stand on
their heads. With a gulp he asks to see the next choice.
The second door opens to reveal another vast horizon of
torn-up wood filled with nails and screws, and millions
of souls condemned to stand on their heads, so he asks
to see the third room.
Much to his surprise, the third room is filled with millions
of former stuperintendents standing waist deep in shit,
smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee. "This is not too bad,"
thinks LaBeaver. "It isn't much different than the way I
spent my life, smoking cigarettes, drinking coffee,
waist deep in my own bullshit and surrounded by other
administrators." So he nonchalantly enters, grabs a coffee,
lights up and takes his place among the damned.
Suddenly, halfway through his first smoke,
Satan enters and yells:
"Alright, you maggots,
coffee break's over--back on your heads!"